Things happen for a reason...

So my weekend has had its ups and downs...lol. Last night was the shittiest nights yet again. I'm so hormonal it's sooo not me LOL. Anyways, Gus and I had an argument. I'd have to say it was pretty stupid too. But whatever, I'm just tired of the bullshit going on. I'm sick and tired of crying over nothing. I hate when I feel like im doing something wrong, and then it just gets to me. I hate when I feel like I'm not taken so seriously with everything I say. And it's not just Gus, it's my parents as well. I hate when I have all these thoughts in my head that I wanna just tell someone, but I can't because no one will understand. So it makes me angry. When I usually get angry I end up crying and shit. So that's how I was Sunday night...I couldn't stop. It's like wtf...I'm so friken pissed off right now and it's really getting to me. I just need that comfort and it's not there. =[

So anyways the thing that made me feel a little better is when...I woke up this morning...thinking about all the things that just happened...and my eyes were all puffy and I had to go to school. I took a shower hoping that it makes it better, and once I got out, I started busting out crying...UGHHHH...and I constantly look at my phone and shit...and like I got a text message hoping it was from him...but it wasn't...instead...it was from someone better...Ms. Tropea!!

Her text message said "God saw you struggling. He says its over. A blessin is coming your way. If you believe in God send to ten people.." And you know how the rest goes...Ms. Tropea sent it RIGHT while I was crying and stuff...and it made me smile just reading that. It makes me realize of how much she cares and stuff...even though it was just a chain text...I felt like God was calling out to me for a reason. By then, it made me realize that I need to stop this pain.. I need to make myself feel better because I deserve it...

I want to go back home to where my heart is.....Victorville....I miss everyone there oh so much...and im crying again wtf!!

I keep telling myself "No more tears..." but this time these tears are for comfort...BAH....fak life...especially mine....

but yeah...im gonna try my best to not cry over a boy....it may be hard cuz im a girl...but I know I can fight it!