Moved

Hello bloggers I moved to tumblr.com now

addd meeee and it's way better and no as confusing :D

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!!!!!

It's time

for a change... I really want things the way they are supposed to be, especially as a young adult with needs. Ugh I just don't know how to do it or how to explain or how to say it... I'm stumped but it's always on my mind. I'm trying to find a way to change things without bringing up arguments... D:

I need adviceee =[

I want...

I want my summer break already! I'm sick of school.. and I need it! ughhh

I just finished my rough draft research paper... and it's crap I can already feel it... good thing our professor lets us have two rough drafts hahaha

I swear I'll improve my essay once it's been critiqued!

Anyways time to knock out... good night!

<3

Why does...

...everyone get engaged at Disneyland? haha So far I knew like 3-4 couples whose future husbands proposed to them over there. It's just random! hahaha but it's ok it's cutee especially at Disneyland XD But people need to be more creative :P

I want to say congrats to Cynthia and her bf! Those two are so cute together.

Anyways I should be working on my buttloads of HW right now...

<3

I Hope All is Well

Have you ever had someone you know, whether they were close or not, die? It has happened to me a couple of times. I always like to browse around myspace through my friends' profiles just seeing what's been going on lately, and have you ever just wandered off their profile and started looking at people that you use to know? Yeah well that happened to me a couple of times already...

RIP Robert DeJohn(i can't remember how to spell his last name) even though I only knew him for a year during my freshman, he was a good person. He can be crazy at times but he sure did leave his mark on this world and I know everyone who is close to him will miss him.

It's amazing how many things can change after high school. I know this is all cliche with everyone talking about this kind of stuff, but it's true. Many of my friends have grown up to become who they are today. A couple of them already found their true love and got married. A couple of them started a family of their own and becoming mothers and fathers. A couple of them didn't really feel like going to college after high school, so they decided to join the military. A couple of them are trying to succeed in college, aiming for their upcoming careers. A couple of them moved away to another state, like to Hawaii and living life(I miss Karen!). A couple of them act their own age, partying it up in clubs, or just living the single life. A couple of them (no offense but I'm happy for them) have grown up to become more confident in themselves that they are in relationships. A couple of them are devoting themselves to God for the rest of their life because He is good. A couple of them have been away from God for a while, but deep inside I know He still loves them. A couple of them have started their lives all over because of a struggle in the past. A couple of them didn't even make it to grow old and become happy(RIP). A couple of them still live with their parents, but are still doing their best to get out(like me haha). A couple of them already have jobs and enough money to live on their own....

There are so many things my friends have been through after high school that it amazes me. I feel like I'm left behind... haha but hey, I can say that I moved out and no longer living in the desert? But then again, I'm also one of those people who wanted to try something new, something fresh, and I'm glad I did as well. I always always ALWAYS love keeping in touch with these people and hopefully they do the same as well! I miss you guys... but life is life... So I just hope all is well! :D

Like what Mary was saying from Hannah Montana (even though I don't watch that stuff LOL) Life is a climb...

Invasion of my privacy

So you know how I moved out of my parents' home and all and now I am currently living with my grandparents here in West Covina? Well... I still feel like my parents are trying to live with me. -__- How lame is that feeling? I move in with my grandparents thinking that I'm going to have my own room and thinking that i'll still have my own privacy, and maybe a little more freedom...but NO I don't. Ever since I started moving in here, (even before it became official) I already hear from my own mom that she's moving in with me as well. On top of that, she's gonna be sharing that empty room that I was suppose to have all to myself. As of right now, I've become very annoyed when she is around, and to have her living here makes me feel how much she doesn't trust me. AND I don't understand why I need to be "watched" when they leave my sister home alone all the way in Victorville. I mean, they need to give me a break for once, and stay with my sister until she graduates. I wanted to move out of the desert to start a new life. But my parents ruin everything.

That isn't the only thing that's annoying me, there's worst. So my parents got a letter saying that our home in Adelanto is going to get foreclosed. How and why? Well, because my parents are lagging on paying the bills. Wtf kind of shit is that? (I tend to cuss when I'm pissed) They complain and complain about saying how poor they are and how they cannot afford the house and all this stuff, but yet they go out every weekend to go gamble. When I tell them that they gamble too much and that's where they are spending their money, they refute and say that they only go there to watch other people. Wtf? They're still wasting gas no matter what. So anyways as I was saying, since my parents are getting foreclosed, both my mom and dad are bringing all their stuff inside my grandparents home. WTF RIGHT? Well my grandma told them that it was ok to keep their stuff here until they find another place, but then I don't even think they are even trying to look. SO OK the thing that annoys me the most is that, my dad has been "packing" and all their shit has been going inside my fucking room. I never have any room to myself or even to my own stuff. About 30% is all my stuff and 70% is all their shit. I feel like they are being stupid ass bums who are trying to move in here. I mean my brother made me realize that what if they live with us?! WTF IS THAT? I am not gonna tolerate having both my own MOTHER AND FATHER living in the same room as me. I'm so pissed off. I rather have them look for another place. Another thing they are letting my spoiled ass sister live with her friend up there in Victorville until she graduates. So what about MY NEEDS? They never give a fuck about what I want. Ugh.

With my mom and dad putting all their shit in my room and calling me constantly telling me to go home, or even telling me what to do and not to go out, I feel trapped. I need to get them help. I've never seen any parents as worst as they are. They need help or something. When I get the money, I swear i'll hire a Physchiatrist to help them out. They are fucking physco parents. FUCK. I WANT MY OWN PRIVACY, BUT NO.... I CAN NEVER GET WHAT I WANT. THIS shit pisses me off. Now if you look inside my room, it's plain., it full of their shit, and they pretty much own the room and don't care about me. That's why I always feel like I need to get away and I just go to my brother's room. He even gets annoyed of me when I'm over there because I'm always here. Sooner or later this ticking bomb will go off anytime soon. I rather get kicked out more than anything right now.

That's why I am who I am when it comes to bailing out on my friends who want to hang out, or even my own boyfriend. =[ But I hope you guys understand what I'm going through right now. I would love to hang out with my friends and boyfriend if it wasn't for my parents. They have ruined my social lifestyle. Life would be so much easier for me if I lived on my own, or had another kind of family. I may sound like a little dramatic girl, but it's the truth, and I don't care what anyone says about "It's because your parents love you" bullshit, they it do to torture me on purpose. I hate being the middle child of this racist, stupid, family. I need to get out of here......

Goodies?!

So I just realized that time has flew by reallyyy fast and that means that my grandparents are coming home tomorrow... can you believe that was already two and a half weeks?! I'm kinda dreading them coming back because I like the way it is right now...kind of haha.. but then excited because I hope my grandma brings my goodies! haha

I'm just looking foward to that. :P But hopefully the sizes are right and stuff because Filipinos over there are friken tiny! and I'm even tiny myself! Goodness!!! haha but yeah....once they're back, it goes back to the normal way... (no more leaving at random nights with Gus =[) lol

So yeah... on top of that...my Spring Break sucks!! I want to go to the beach or something hahaha


<3

It's that time of the season yet again

It's too hot! uGh... i wake up cranky because of the stupid heat going inside my room from my window... it was all cool last night too when my bro and I decided to turn on the AC hahaha.
but yeah.... it's getting warmer and warmer by the day and soon enough i'll probably get dark as well. =[ Hopefully I don't though! I'm not living in the desert anymoreeee so we'll see! hahaha

Btw my spring break is boring.... the weekend was fun but now it's boring!

My parents ruin my life.. lol... I need to get out of here ASAP!

Finally!

One more day of midterms and then its...


SPRING BREAK!! WOOWOO

Finally....lol

Very Random

So today I was at the mall with my mom and my sister and we were at Payless. I was looking at the shoes and my mom randomly tells me that I need high heels when I'm with Gus because he is so tall that I need to reach up to his level. LOL. I was like wtf??? random much?? ON TOP OF THAT... she asked me if me and him were serious....like in a serious relationship...and I was scared to answer because I wouldn't know how she would react...but I said yeah and she was like acting weird...LOL. She was like "seriously?" and I said yeah... and she kept saying "You serious serious? seriously?" LOL I'm like....YESSS GOODNESS hahaha...

SO she RANDOMLY says, "Gus needs to meet the rest of the family...I should invite him to our next gathering..." So this is me.."0_____0'' LOL like she was thinking what our next family gathering would be.... and she wants him to come...I was seriously surprised when she said that. LOL. Was it because I said we were serious? hahaha... I've wanted Gus to meet my whole family from the start...and I was just scared because I didn't think they would let me. =[ But hearing that from my mom makes me feel even better! My mom likes him haha and she seems serious when she mentioned it...but it's mostly my dad...but PFT who gives a crap about what he thinks lmao...

That made my day lol.
So now I'm looking foward to a next family gathering. =]

My first alcoholic drink...

Before I go into my little story..school sucks butt! Hopefully I passed my History test. I tried my best to study for the test haha...So hopefully it was good enough to pass! I'm considering of dropping that class if I can't get my head together in passing that stupid class... who knows, I had that same thought with Anthro last semester, and I ended up passing with a B! ahaha... Just wish me luck =[.

So on Sunday Gus picked me up and his mom decided to buy us drinks cuz it was Gus's birthday! hahaha So like of course I've only had a tiny sip here and there and that night was my first night.. oh boyy hahaha I was really thirsty and his mom got Smirnoff and B&J's wine coolers and stuff... not big of course cuz Gus was taking me home right after...good thing I didn't drive! lol...Well anyway...I downed my first bottle pretty quickly. I was pretty thirsty ahahah! It was strawberry flavored :P I don't think that i'll be like a hardcore drinker by just drinking the drink itself. For one, I really don't like the taste of regular beer, it's nasty, and Second of all, the other drinks out there taste gross as well! LOL sorry I'm sissy =[ So I can totally see me go after the girly drinks whether it's like mixed into something or wine coolers! And drinking with Gus's mom is fun hahaha. Ok back to my story, so after I finished my first bottle I started feeling it. I guess I finally experienced the "buzzed" mode hahaha. And then they forced me to finish the second bottle and I did. And geezzzz alcohol makes you full and bloated! Good thing i didn't throw up though! hahaha. But I did kind of notice that I was out of it after finishing my second one... LOL Gus knew it too, he said I was drunk D: I probably was anyway since my tolerance is so low lmfao... but yeah...good times... imagine me super drunk hahaha. It was fun though, now that I'm talking about this I'm actually craving for a strawberry drink! LOL but yeah...there's always a first for everything. =]


Now I'm tired.... I need my spring break already!!

Gotta Love Them!

So the weirdest words came out of grandpa's mouth today:

*Answers phone* Lolo: "Hello?"
*Hangs up* Lolo: "I don't have a automobile goddammit!" (exactly in English with his Filipino accent)

I started cracking up to myself LOL! I've never hear my grandpa cuss in English lmaooooo it's so funny

Anyways they are finally leaving tonight to go to the Philippines and it's about freaking time! They have this "Philippines fever" ever since they moved over hear -_- lol. But that means no grandparents for 2 and a half weeks ;x yipee! Which somewhat means that I kind of get some freedom, but then again my parents will always ALWAYS be around -_-... lol but oh well! hahaha. Hopefully they get me what I asked for when they come back ;x. I asked for V necks if they have some, a cardigan if they have some, a hoodie if they have some, and skinny jeans ;x....I haven't gone shopping since last summer so shut up! hahaha I need new clothes dammit =[

So yesterday I saw Gus's mom yesterday :D. And she brought me goodies! haha. I didn't want her to give me a lot, but she did. =]]]] I love her haha. So she got me bracelets from Mexico and handmade bags as well! I'm thinking about wearing one to school :P and it's funny because the bracelets she gave me were so cute. There were two pairs and each of them had my name made on it and Gus's name. LOL and I was confused...was I suppose to wear a bracelet with his name on it? o.o or with mine? So I just wore mine anyway cuz it looked like it was meant for me and Gus to have one with our own names. LOL so I gave one of them with his name on it and we both wore it hahaha. But yeah I love presents from Mexico! OH and his mom gave me a cellphone holder with a little girl LOL cuz she said I was little haha. Last year she gave me this little backpack and a little pin with a tall guy and girl rofl it was cute and I still use it! haha I even have a sumbrero from my friend Sam when he went to Mexico as well. I asked him to get me one and he did lmao! It's in my room in Victorville though D; lol....

but yeah... I love them! Now time to wait for my things from the Philippines haha.

I'm going international ;]

This week...

This week has been somewhat alright and somewhat lame! lol...
I did TERRIBLE on my test and midterm...
I didn't go to Psych the other day, and I didn't go to school today and I was dying to know what my results were...but i'll check next week...IM SO HORRIBLE LOL.. D:
but it's ok....my friends and bf make it fun =] gotta love them!

So I ran out of...

and I need it! Without this stuff....my hair smells like the outdoors, and it doesn't liven up =[.... my hair is so flat without it! I NEED SOME! hahahaha

Random

It's weird how so many plane crashes have occurred for the past month, or even days. It's weird seeing how many people try to "escape" from their lives and pretend that they are dead, or when a little trip turns into a tragedy. It just makes me sad hearing about these things. I always wonder if there is someone behind these crashes who intentionally ruin the engines? Or it just happens to be their destiny. Idk. I think too much haha.

Other than that random thought, my week after that previous blog I wrote was better. Me and Gus made up, of course. :P But yeah.. and so far my weekend has been boringgggg. On top of that, I need to study all day today for my Political Science Midterm and History Test! D: UGHH those are my worst subjects everrr and they happen to have a test on the same days -__-. Hopefully I can pull it off though =\.

Anyways time to hit the books!


<3

Things happen for a reason...

So my weekend has had its ups and downs...lol. Last night was the shittiest nights yet again. I'm so hormonal it's sooo not me LOL. Anyways, Gus and I had an argument. I'd have to say it was pretty stupid too. But whatever, I'm just tired of the bullshit going on. I'm sick and tired of crying over nothing. I hate when I feel like im doing something wrong, and then it just gets to me. I hate when I feel like I'm not taken so seriously with everything I say. And it's not just Gus, it's my parents as well. I hate when I have all these thoughts in my head that I wanna just tell someone, but I can't because no one will understand. So it makes me angry. When I usually get angry I end up crying and shit. So that's how I was Sunday night...I couldn't stop. It's like wtf...I'm so friken pissed off right now and it's really getting to me. I just need that comfort and it's not there. =[

So anyways the thing that made me feel a little better is when...I woke up this morning...thinking about all the things that just happened...and my eyes were all puffy and I had to go to school. I took a shower hoping that it makes it better, and once I got out, I started busting out crying...UGHHHH...and I constantly look at my phone and shit...and like I got a text message hoping it was from him...but it wasn't...instead...it was from someone better...Ms. Tropea!!

Her text message said "God saw you struggling. He says its over. A blessin is coming your way. If you believe in God send to ten people.." And you know how the rest goes...Ms. Tropea sent it RIGHT while I was crying and stuff...and it made me smile just reading that. It makes me realize of how much she cares and stuff...even though it was just a chain text...I felt like God was calling out to me for a reason. By then, it made me realize that I need to stop this pain.. I need to make myself feel better because I deserve it...

I want to go back home to where my heart is.....Victorville....I miss everyone there oh so much...and im crying again wtf!!

I keep telling myself "No more tears..." but this time these tears are for comfort...BAH....fak life...especially mine....

but yeah...im gonna try my best to not cry over a boy....it may be hard cuz im a girl...but I know I can fight it!

Good times!

So today was alright. Besides waking up late and so close to not getting in class on time lol...It was like "run into people from fall semester day" or something. hahaha. I swearrrrr.... so i was walking to the bookstore, to buy a scantron, and I ran into Albert! hahaha. It was soooo random and surprisingly he still remembers me! So we talked for a bit and told me how Adrian randomly texted him saying that he was going out with Mary (at the time and LOL Mary I know it's very random). And like while we were talking, I ran into this guy, Michael, from my math class and he said hi to me too! hahaha. It makes me feel happy and better knowing that everyone still remembers you LOL. Usually others like pretend that you don't exist LOL. Not only has that happened twice, I was walking to my car and this car stopped to let me walk by, and it turned out to be this guy that I randomly talk to from a friend in my old Anthropology class....if that made sense hahaha. But yeah! it was crazyyyy and it was all in one day :P

Oh and Jeremy bought me lunch and I ate out with both Jeremy and Tony today....so i finally got my orange chicken! hahaha (sorry Mary :[ ) Another thing... I took a quiz in my history class today and it feels like I didn't do so well, so I hope I at least pass. =\ lol.

The only thing that ruined the rest of my day was my grandma's cooking! UGH LOL. So she cooks this Filipino sausage right.. and my grandpa was saying how it was hard, so I tried it for myself and what do you know...IT'S ROCK HARD....LOL. It ruined my appetite T_T especially when my grandma also cooked this fried fish....which her kind of fried fish is like HARD FISH....and that's all they had. =[...so i chose the fish...lol. I didn't eat much for dinner, but I can't tell if im still hungry or not...hahaha


<3

What I think...

So my weekend was pretty awesome lol. On Friday, since I didn't have school, I got to hang out with Gus again. :D We went running like always haha and just hung out with his friends. It was pretty cool. OH and we went to lollicup and I was soooo amazed because they have small boba!! It was sooo cute and awesome haha and I believe it was cheaper than the normal size ones. Right now theres a sale going and it's if you buy one boba milk tea you get the second boba milk tea for free! So Gus and I both got it. haha. (Now im craving for some D:) But anyways, that Friday was awesome and I was super tired because of all the running. hahaha.

On Saturday, I did some house stuff like do my laundry, clean my room, and I actually WASHED my car. hahaha. But I was pissed today because I was driving to school this morning and it started sprinkling and I was like wtf!!! D: but it still looks clean so it's ok for now. lol. Oh and my brother and nephew came over today too and so I was playing with my nephew while I was attempting to do my political science homework haha.

On Sunday, it was my official one year anniversary with Gus. =] So I decided to come over to his house and hang out with him! At first I gave him a call and asked where he was at... and he was with his parents at some swap meet and I got to his house before he did. LOL. So it was just his sister and I and we were both talking and stuff and yeahh she's cool. I like her. I like his whole family! lol. They're so nice to me. When Gus and his parents finally came back we went to eat out at some chinese buffet (the same one we went out to eat at on Valentine's Day with his family as well). His dad LOVES that place hahaha and I have to admit, that is the best buffet I have ever eaten at compared to others(usually they are dry and yucky lol). After that, we went to Ikea! hahaha. I want an Ikea home. =[ And when I make some money i'll make sure of it! haha. Gus's mom said it was family day that day! lmao.

When she said that, it made me feel like I'm appretiated more to them compared to my own family. Sad huh? My family doesn't give a crap about me whatsoever. And when they do, their reasonings and "rules" are just so ignorant, that even stricter parents are better than them! I just love his family. They are nice to me, they feed me when they have food haha, they talk to me, they take me in as part of their family. Like for me, I love that feeling of "family" lol especially when they take me in. Idk. I love my parents but things like that never really happen. Usually, it would be "rare". lol. It's always funny when Gus's mom says that she's my "mother-in-law" LMAO it makes me laugh but in a good way. Good thing Gus isn't around when she says it or else who would of been freaking out. LMAO. Good times.


Anyways in changing the subject about what else I feel... I used this have this reallyyy good friend of mine. She was someone who would listen to my problems and give me advice or just make me happy and stuff. It's been like that since we've met. Now she has changed. She would talk about how she would never be like those typically Viet girls (she's Viet) and yet lately, she's been acting like one. What's the typical? Well the girls who act super girly, rich, flirts with a lot boys, talk like she's black, and wear a lottt of makeup. She's turning into them. I'm not being racist or stereotypical or anything, but she's becoming like them! She's been very cocky, thinks that she's all that, thinks that she's on top of the whole community. On top of that, she's Canadian. I don't need to give more detail about how I know her and where I met her and stuff we will just leave it at that. I totally understand that America is in deep shit right now with the whole economy crisis, and here she is RUBBING into our faces that there are no problems going on in Canada and brags about how much money she has and how she her parents own two BIG houses(when she doesnt even need both). I wasn't asking for advice or sympathy about our money issues, I just wanted her to listen and stuff, and she brags and brags about her lifestyle. She doesn't even go to college and all she does it work.(Apparently I guess she's too cool for school lol). She's really pretty when she wears makeup and all, but her body is skinny like a twig(not even joking). But then I remember her talking about how "Canadians have a better weight control" compared to America when were all fat and dying. Im sorry, but after seeing her in person as well as her friends, Canada has some serious anorexia issues. LOL. I really thought she was someone different that I can talk to. But after a long period of time, she has changed dramatically. My brother sees it as well. Hopefully one day she realizes that her good friends that has been with her through thick and think were the best friends she has ever had. So all I have to say is that im over it. Im tired of trying to talk to her. Im tired of being treated like just "another" person and I'm tired of when she completely ignores people that I know. Im just tired of trying, so instead once she realizes about how much she has changed and comes back to us, then maybe i'll consider it.

Oh and another note, I've read in my English class a letter from his writer who lives in Canada and she is viewing our world today. In one of her arguments, she is telling us Americans how we need to build back our economy because everyone depends on us. So for my fellow friend who says Canada is not in a crisis....it will HIT you one day when you realize that your people need us in order to stay in tact. Hopefully you understand that being rich is meaningful than being a rich snob. I hope you will understand one day when I always call you rich to me. Just be thankful that you have that much money as for now. I just hope your wise with it as well. You're better than that. I know you are, but I guess your true self came out. But hey, no matter what you'll still be considered as a friend to me.

BTW im so tired. I think the stupid daylight savings time is killing my sleeping pattern haha. I'll get used to it, I hope. D:

Anyways I know this is superrrr long but if you're willing to read this then go ahead! I just needed to express haha.

<3

Hello!

So I know a whole bunch of you read my blogs on myspace. How do I know? It's because it tells me how many people view my stuff! Whether I tell you or not, there is always someone reading. You nosy people! LOL jk

I was like "eh what the heck" and so I've decided to make a blogspot :D

So here I am. :D haha

A lot of my close friends have drifted away living their own lives, while I'm here sitting on my lazy butt on the computer all day. I have NO life at all LOL. So if I can't turn to a friend or even my boyfriend for my stupid little problems, why don't I just write about it?! That way, for those who are really interested will read about my situations and I can feel better myself by ranting out to the cyber world. I mean, I used to do it all the time back when xangas were cool haha so why not? :P

I am sure only a few of you will have the time to read these things about me, and I am not gonna tell the whole world to read it. I am only gonna ask who is interested. That's why I asked you if you were really interested then message me and I would give you the link! LOL. If you feel like you need to send it to a friend then go ahead. At least more people will be interested about my non-exciting, boring life. If that makes sense haha.

Anyways well that is that. More blogs will come up soon I promise. :D


<3